Crash

So it's been two and a half weeks or so since I gave my testimony. It was an interesting way of celebrating 14 months of intense focus on recovering from my childhood. I was also pleasantly surprised by the people who came to support me. I think at a lot of big important moments in my life I've felt like I was on my own, but for this big moment, I was truly surrounded with community. It just sort of blew me away.

Afterwards, I didn't know how to calm down. I guess, in a way, I really didn't want to. What goes up must come down and I didn't want to come down. I know how low I can crash and I wanted to put that off as long as I could. That turned out to be about a week and a half.

I haven't done a good job of protecting my sleep while I was on this roller coaster. So even though I haven't crashed as hard or as low as I was afraid I would, I still get to deal with resetting my sleep again. It's this constant battle, sleeping at the right times.

I think I'm doing an OK job of moving forward from crashing, which is good because now I've volunteered to write another thing to say in front of people. Less intense personal life story, more lesson kind of thing. Insert nervous face. In a way I'm testing the waters to see whether or not I like doing this stuff. And now I know I have to be more protective of my sleep. So maybe this will go better.