First Leg Day

 I used to love leg day. Back a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, when I was half my current size and young and full of rage and trauma with no other real outlet except track. Ah, the good old days.

I remember walking lunges and everyone whining and I always wondered why they all hated it. I loved it.

Sigh.

A cell phone picture of a year 2000 Cheri and Tim who were dating other people at the time but went to a fancy school dance together.

My trainer had to work so hard to find a way for me to lunge. First we tried a couple practice lunges to see how I do in my current condition. Then she got something that looks like half a yoga ball mounted on a board. She wanted me to put one foot in front and one in back and lunge into the ball.

But my legs are too short.

So her next idea was to get a foam yoga block and have me hold on to these straps that hang from a contraption....I'm very good with words... So I'm holding on to these things for balance and lunging into a foam block and it all feels very awkward. And I kind of hate it.

Literally half of my body has never done that kind of movement before, so I suppose I should be nice to me. What's the compassionate thing to say? I don't know it.

Several leg focused movements and machines later and I got into my van feeling as if I could barely move my leg from brake to gas pedal and back. How do other people usually drive home from leg day? This doesn't feel safe. If the real pain doesn't hit for about 24 hours, what's tomorrow going to hold? What if I just cancel my whole life and stay in my hammock all day?

OK, I know I know. Moving will feel better than not moving. I know it will get better and maybe someday I will enjoy leg days again. I just needed to be whiny first.