October 17

On This Day one year ago, I got my first ever tattoo.

And then completely unintentionally, on this today....

Given our financial situation, it's not super responsible to get a tattoo right now. But I've decided that I have nothing to be ashamed of. There are so many things that it's socially acceptable to spend money on, especially as a white heterosexual cis-gendered woman, things that most people won't notice or bat an eye about. Makeup, hair dye, hair cuts/styles, hairspray/gel, whatever, manicures, pedicures, waxing, shaving, lotions, I don't even know what else.

There's nothing wrong with any of those things. I just don't have any interest in them. I don't spend money that way. I guarantee I've spent less money on these two tattoos, than I could have spent on all those other things in the same time frame. So I'm going to wear my tattoos without the shame.

And as soon as possible, I'm going to get some colors added to this new one.

Backpack

Ah, this day has arrived. The one year anniversary of the loss of my backpack.

On This Day:

To whomever stole my backpack: have fun with my two partially completed crochet projects, couple of Bible study books and dirty jar that had my dinner in it. Also the sweet little first aid kit in the side pocket.

This backpack didn't have it's own theme song, but it was mine and it was ready for adventures. I don't even think I'd had it for a full year actually. I mean, I have carried different backpacks for a long time but this one was more intentional. I had looked for the features I wanted and found it in this one bag. Except the colors were a bit more obnoxious than strictly necessary.

I don't really have a good picture of it. But I also don't have access to all my photos because my computer is down.

Anyway. At the end of the day it was only a backpack. But it was also a big moment where I had emotions and actually felt them in real time. I have a habit of not doing that. That's part of what I've been working on in CR.

The real story is how everything went in the aftermath. An intern at church knew I was feeling sad about this and she got me a new backpack and gave it to me with a sweet little note that used my word twice.

The New Backpack. On Adventure.

I have a word. It's the word that I had decided some years ago that if I were ever going to tattoo one word, one thought, one idea onto my body, it should be the thing that would help me when I'm in a dark place. The one word that would always remind me of what it is I need to know to get me out of that dark place.

So many people in my life went out of their way to be so kind to me when I lost my backpack. It was kind of bizarre to me. Because it really is just a backpack. But I guess it's also possible that they were trying to reinforce my word.

A couple weeks later I tried to help the message sink in a little deeper.