Falling Apart

I feel like I've written this thought down more than once, but the most memorable was July 8, 2016 and rather than making it up again I'm just going to copy that version here.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be a tree in the fall? At first you're standing there full of a summer's worth of leafy accomplishments, and you're pretty proud of yourself. Then everything starts changing. The changes are so colorful and fun, until they begin falling off. One at a time all your beautiful leaves drop to the ground. It's a little disconcerting but you feel like you have time to mourn each loss as it comes. As fall progresses, the wind gets colder and harsher and your leaves are falling faster than you can consider them. It's terrifying and painful until you just grow numb to it. Next thing you know, you're standing there naked and vulnerable. Alone. The good thing about fall is that it can only go so far, once you're stripped bare, there's nothing left to take away, the fall has to end. Winter had to come, a season of peace and rest. Of course, winter also has it's downsides, but it too must come to an end. And then comes spring. Hope. New life. Leaves begin to grow in all the old places and in some new ones as the lessons from fall and winter become a part of you.

I spend possibly too much time thinking about random things. But every time it feels like everything is falling apart and/or I'm losing more than I thought I had, I think of trees. I long for rest. And I start hoping for spring.

So Late I'm Early

I decided to forge ahead and finish up the Advent calendar project. The girls haven't seen all of them as I've finished them so there will still be a surprise element. Pretty soon I'll be looking for a place to put this project where it will be nice and safe. Then forget about it until this time next year when I'll go "where did I put that thing?" It will be so funny.

Every year around this time I start planning the projects I want to do through the year so that I don't get to December and have an overwhelmingly large pile of things to do and not enough time to do them. Maybe this will be the year that I do it. It doesn't seem very likely, but I can dream.

Incidentally, on this day 2013, I taught the girls to crochet a bit....or gave them the first lesson I can remember. I was impressed with how studious Caelie was. As I'm typing this I have this vague memory of having taught Taryn to crochet before this moment. But oh well.

Happy Holidays

One thing that bothers me this time of year is the idea that there's something wrong with saying "Happy Holidays". So here's my soapbox rant, I guess.

My research is relying heavily on a list of holidays from wikipedia and another page called Holidays Calendar. I've defined "Christmas Season" as all of the days starting November 15th and ending January 7th. This incorporates every Christian Christmas-related holiday, feast, festival or what-have-you that I can find. Any day on which a person celebrating might be tempted to wish others a "Merry Christmas."

Incidentally, this exact same time frame could be referred to as Yule-tide which is a pre-Christian midwinter festival that different people at different times have celebrated as a nearly two month time frame, a 12 day festival, a three night festival or a one day holiday. If you think "Merry Christmas" should be the common greeting just because of the sheer number of days it covers, then it's just as appropriate to wish everyone "Joyful Yule" regardless of whether or not the person you're talking to celebrates the Germanic pagan festival. In the following list I will include Yule as a one day holiday on what appears to be the most common date, but my understanding is that practitioners could use any particular day they feel best represents their Yule celebration so it shouldn't be viewed as a set in stone date.

Several other holidays also vary on their dates, so I've included a year in parentheses where it's relevant. If there is a country in parentheses assume the date is for 2020, I don't know if these dates are variable or not. There is also a Ukrainian new year holiday that seems to overlap the end of this time frame, but it was difficult for me to understand and make it fit into my list. It should also be noted that Pastafarians may celebrate their own Holiday whenever and however they please.

Holidays during the "Christmas Season"

November 15: Nativity Fast 1 of 40, Diwali day 4 of 5 (2020), World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims, Republic Proclamation Day (Brazil), 7-5-3 Day (Japan), National Day of Mourning (Germany), National Peace Day, America Recycles Day (USA)

November 16: Nativity Fast 2 of 40, Diwali day 5 of 5 (2020), Day off for Revolution Day Memorial (Mexico), International Day for Tolerance, Independence of Cartagena (Columbia)

November 17: Nativity Fast 3 of 40, World Prematurity Day, Polytechneio (Greece), Struggle for Freedom and Democracy Day (Czech Republic), Fight for Freedom and Democracy Day (Slovakia)

November 18: Nativity Fast 4 of 40, Republic of Latvia Proclamation Day, National Day (Oman), Vertieres Day (Haiti), Independence Day (Morocco), Repentance Day (Germany)

November 19: Nativity Fast 5 of 40, Garifuna Settlement Day (Belize), International Men's Day, World Philosophy Day, World Toilet Day, National Day (Monaco), Discovery Day (Puerto Rico)

November 20: Nativity Fast 6 of 40, Revolution Day Memorial (Mexico), Universal Children's Day, Africa Industrialization Day, Black Consciousness Day (Brazil)

November 21: Nativity Fast 7 of 40, Dignity and Freedom Day (Ukraine), World Television Day, Armed Forces Day (Greece), Dayton Peace Agreement Day (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

November 22: Nativity Fast 8 of 40, Christ the King Day (Mexico), Harvest Festival (Turkmenistan), Albanian Alphabet Day (Republic of Macedonia), Teacher's Day (Costa Rica), Independence Day (Lebanon), Sunday of the Dead (Germany)

November 23: Nativity Fast 9 of 40, National Sovereignty Day (Argentina), St George's Day (Georgia), Labor Thanksgiving Day (Japan), Rudolf Maister Day (Slovenia)

November 24: Nativity Fast 10 of 40, Martyrdom of Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib

November 25: Nativity Fast 11 of 40, International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, Independence Day (Suriname), Statehood Day (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

November 26: Nativity Fast 12 of 40, Republic's Day (Mongolia), National Day of Mourning (2020)

November 27: Nativity Fast 13 of 40, Thanksgiving (Turks and Caicos Islands), State Holiday (USA, Georgia), President's Day, Lincoln's Birthday, Black Friday, American Indian Heritage Day, Aviation Day (Venezuela)

November 28: Nativity Fast 14 of 40, Thanksgiving (2019) Independence from Spain (Panama), Day of Albanians (Kosovo), Proclamation of Independence Day (East Timor), Proclamation of the Republic (Chad), Small Business Saturday

November 29: Nativity Fast 15 of 40, International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People, Unity Day (Vanuatu), Saisiat Festival (Taiwan), Liberation Day (Albania) William Tubman's Birthday (Liberia)

November 30: Nativity Fast 16 of 40, Kartik Purnima (2020), St Andrew's Day, Independence Day (multiple), Bonifacio Day (Philippines), Unity Day observed (Vanuatu), Cyber Monday

December 1: Nativity Fast 17 of 40, Advent 1 of 4 (2019), World AIDS Day, Day of the First President of the Republic of Kazakhstan, Restoration of Independence (Portugal), Republic Day (Central African Republic), National Holiday (Romania), Giving Tuesday, Rosa Parks Day

December 2: Nativity Fast 18 of 40, Chalica day 1 of 7 (2019), International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, National Day (Laos)

December 3: Nativity Fast 19 of 40, Chalica day 2 of 7 (2019), International Day of Persons with Disabilities, Day of Navarre (Spain)

December 4: Nativity Fast 20 of 40, Saint Barbara's Day, Chalica day 3 of 7 (2019), Farmer's Day (Ghana)

December 5: Nativity Fast 21 of 40, Krampusnacht, Chalica day 4 of 7 (2019), International Volunteer Day for Economic and Social Development, World Soil Day, St Nicolas's Eve/Sinterklaas (Netherlands), Small Business Saturday (UK)

December 6: Nativity Fast 22 of 40, St. Nicolas' Day, Chalica day 5 of 7 (2019), Army Day (Ukraine), Good Neighborliness Day (Turkmenistan), Independence Day (Finland), Foundation of Quito (Ecuador), Constitution Day (parts of Spain?)

December 7: Nativity Fast 23 of 40, Chalica day 6 of 7 (2019), International Civil Aviation Day, Spitak Remembrance Day (Armenia), Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, The Feast of St. Ambrose (Milan, Italy), Eve of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (Colombia), Anniversary of the Coronation of King Tupou I (Tonga), National Heros Day (East Timor), Western Province Day (Solomon Islands)

December 8: Nativity Fast 24 of 40, Advent 2 of 4 (2019), Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Chalica day 7 of 7 (2019), Bodhi Day, Saint Kliment Ohridski's Day (Republic of Macedonia), Mother Day (Panama), Day of Our Lady of Immaculate Conception (East Timor), Battle Day (Falkland Islands), Virgin of Caacupe Day (Paraguay), Constitution Day (multiple), National Youth Day (Albania)

December 9: Nativity Fast 25 of 40, International Anti-Corruption Day, National Heroes Day (Antigua and Barbuda), Republic Day (Tanzania)

December 10: Nativity Fast 26 of 40, International Human Rights Day

December 11: Nativity Fast 27 of 40, International Mountain Day, Anniversary of the Statute of Westminster (Canada), Human Rights and Peace Day (Kiribati), Republic Day (Madagascar)

December 12: Nativity Fast 28 of 40, Day of the Virgin of Guadalupe (Mexico), Day of Neutrality (Turkmenistan), Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe (USA), Jamhuri Day (Kenya)

December 13: Nativity Fast 29 of 40, Saint Lucia's Day, Salgirah, National Guard Birthday, National Day (Saint Lucia), Republic Day (Malta)

December 14: Nativity Fast 30 of 40, (sometimes part of Hanukkah)

December 15: Nativity Fast 31 of 40, Advent 3 of 4 (2019), Zamenhof Day

December 16: Nativity Fast 32 of 40, Las Posadas day 1 of 9, Independence Day day 1 of 2 (Kazakhstan), National Day 1 of 2 (Bahrain), Day of Reconciliation (South Africa)

December 17: Nativity Fast 33 of 40, Las Posadas day 2 of 9, Saturnalia day 1 of 7, Independence Day day 2 of 2 (Kazakhstan), Pan American Aviation Day (Wright Brothers Day), National Day 2 of 2 (Bahrain)

December 18: Nativity Fast 34 of 40, Las Posadas day 3 of 9, Saturnalia day 2 of 7, International Migrants Day, Arabic Language Day, National Day (Qatar), Nigerien Republic Day (Niger)

December 19: Nativity Fast 35 of 40, Las Posadas day 4 of 9, Nikoljdan, Saturnalia day 3 of 7, St. Nicolas Day (Ukraine), Separation Day (Anguilla), Remembrance Day for Roma and Sinti killed by Genocide (Germany)

December 20: Nativity Fast 36 of 40, Las Posadas day 5 of 9, Saturnalia day 4 of 7, Macau S.A.R. Establishment Day, International Human Solidarity Day, Abolition of Slavery

December 21: Nativity Fast 37 of 40, Las Posadas day 6 of 9, Blue Christmas/Longest Night (2019), Pancha Ganapati day 1 of 5, Saturnalia day 5 of 7, Yule, Yalda, Winter Solstice, Soyal, Turkish Language Day (Republic of Macedonia)

December 22: Nativity Fast 38 of 40, Advent 4 of 4 (2019), Las Posadas day 7 of 9, Pancha Ganapati day 2 of 5, Saturnalia day 6 of 7, Hanukkah day 1 of 8 (2019), Dongzhi Festival (2019), Unity Day (Zimbabwe)

December 23: Nativity Fast 39 of 40, Las Posadas day 8 of 9, Pancha Ganapati day 3 of 5, Saturnalia day 7 of 7, HumanLight, Hanukkah day 2 of 8 (2019), Festivus, Emperor's Birthday (Japan)

December 24: Nativity Fast 40 of 40, Las Posadas day 9 of 9, Christmas Eve, Pancha Ganapati day 4 of 5, Modraniht (Mother's Night), Hanukkah day 3 of 8 (2019), Yap Constitution Day (Micronesia), Birth Date of Kim Jong Suk (North Korea), Independence Day (Libya)

December 25: Christmas Day, Anastasia of Sirmium feast day, First Day Christmas 1 of 12, Pancha Ganapati day 5 of 5, Malkh, Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, Hanukkah day 4 of 8 (2019), Koliada, Newtonmas, Asarah B'Tevet (Israel), Constitution Day (Taiwan)

December 26: Second Day of Christmas 2 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 1 of 12, Saint Stephen's Day, Hanukkah day 4 of 8 (2019), Boxing Day, Kwanzaa day 1 of 7, Synaxis of the Mother of God (Greece), Family Day (Vanuatu), National Day of Thanksgiving (Solomon Islands), Independence and Unity Day (Slovenia)

December 27: Third Day of Christmas 3 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 2 of 12, Saint John the Evangelist's Day, Hanukkah day 5 of 8 (2019), Kwanzaa day 2 of 7, Constitution Day (North Korea)

December 28: Fourth Day of Christmas 4 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 3 of 12, Holy Innocents' Day, Hanukkah day 6 of 8 (2019), Kwanzaa day 3 of 7, Day of the Holy Innocents (Mexico), Christmas/Boxing Day Holiday (Australia), Christmas (Gibraltar), St Stephen's Day observed (Ireland), Boxing Day (UK), Republic Day (South Sudan), Incwala Day (Swaziland)

December 29: Fifth Day of Christmas 5 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 4 of 12, Hanukkah day 7 of 8 (2019), Kwanzaa day 4 of 7, Independence Day (Mongolia)

December 30: Sixth Day of Christmas 6 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 5 of 12, Hanukkah day 8 of 8 (2019) Kwanzaa day 5 of 7, Rizal Day (Philippines), Day of the Declaration of Slovakia as an Independent Ecclesiastic Province

December 31: Seventh Day of Christmas 7 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 6 of 12, Saint Sylvester's Day, Hogmanay, Kwanzaa day 6 of 7, Watch Night, Old Year's Night (Barbados), Festival Day (Montserrat)

January 1: Eighth Day of Christmas 8 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 7 of 12, Kwanzaa day 7 of 7, Feast of the Circumcision, Saint Basil's Day, New Year's Day, Liberation Day (multiple), Republic Day (Taiwan), Independence Day (Haiti), Restoration of the Czech Independence Day, Feast of the Holy Family (Spain)

January 2: Ninth Day of Christmas 9 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 8 of 12, New Year's Day 2 (Multiple), Heroes' Day/Ancestor's Day (Haiti), Berchtold Day (multiple)

January 3: Tenth Day of Christmas 10 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 9 of 12, New Year's Day 3 (Multiple)

January 4: Eleventh Day of Christmas 11 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 10 of 12, New Year's Day 4 (Multiple), Independence Day (Myanmar), World Braille Day, Day of King Amador (Sao Tome and Principe) Martyrs of Independence Day (Democratic Republic of the Congo)

January 5: Twelfth Day of Christmas 12 of 12, Twelve Days of Christmas 11 of 12, Twelfth Night, Guru Gobind Singh Birthday, Armenian Christmas Eve

January 6: Twelve Days of Christmas 12 of 12, Epiphany, Three Kings Day, Armenian Apostolic Christmas, Army Day (multiple), Orthodox Christmas Eve

January 7: Orthodox Christmas, Victory over Genocide Day (Cambodia), Pioneer's Day (Liberia), Asarah B'Tevet (Israel)

End of list

I think one thing is obvious: humans love to celebrate. That's over 230 holidays and I'm sure it isn't even all of them. If you read that list closely enough, you might notice that even Christian people don't agree on when and how to celebrate Christmas.

In my opinion nothing takes the Christ right out of Christmas quite like Christians angrily spitting "Merry CHRIST-mas!" into the faces of people that don't celebrate Christmas and never will want to when that is the only picture of Christmas they see. If Jesus is the most important person to you, what do you think He would do? Wouldn't He be kind and respectful at the very least?

If your goal in life is to spread the peace, joy, and wonder of your interpretation of the Christmas season, wouldn't saying "Happy Holidays" suit that goal better?

Christmas Eve

I had all these ideas about things to type up this holiday season. I wanted to write down some good memories while being respectful to the hard parts. In fact, a couple days ago, I wanted to type up a more serious, vulnerable post about how hard holidays are for me. But I didn't know what to say.

So I'm just going to put this out there. This is the current condition of my front door:

And that is the extent of our holiday preparations.

Well. I did manage to make the girls each a pair of pajama pants to continue our Christmas pjs tradition. But other than that, this is it. It looks like we're losing a game of Jumanji and I haven't even put away the Halloween wreath that is in bad need of repairs. Never hung the Thanksgiving wreath either.

This is how our Christmas is going so far.

Christmas Adam

One of my most memorable December 23rds came in 2012 when the girls, after over a year of not cutting their hair, well, mostly not cutting their hair, they went at it and hacked away so badly that we only had one logical course of action....

It's a rough situation, because in context, it was really the only thing we could do. It wasn't a punishment at all, it was a logical consequence of what they did. However, the story for the rest of their lives is "one time Mommy shaved our heads". Except for Caelie, this was the second time. They haven't done it again though so I guess they decided that it's better to have a professional do the job.

They go back and forth between preferring long hair and preferring short hair. Their most recent haircuts....

Welcome Winter

In 2016, we went for a hike at Konza Prairie on December 21. I'm not sure we intended to celebrate the first day of winter by taking a hike....but we basically celebrated the first day of winter....by taking a hike.... Then we repeated that in 2017 and 2018 and 2019, so I guess it's basically our tradition now.

The dead tree in 2016

also 2016

In 2017, it seems like the weather was more dreary and overcast and somehow that resulted in seeing a lot more wildlife than usual.

2017

I don't have access to my photo archives, I downloaded the above from facebook so the quality is probably worse than usual. I have one picture from 2018, but I didn't take it and it has people in it that I don't have permission to share here. So. Trust me. We did the thing.

We usually don't run into very many people while we're out there but today I saw quite a few hikers trying to soak in a halfway decent weather day. The sun was in the wrong place for me to get the picture of the view I like best. There's nothing quite like standing on this big hill out there.

The dead tree has come a long way since 2016. It's been on fire. Lost a lot.

We spent several minutes watching a lot of wild turkeys mosey along near the trail. They didn't seem to care about us being there. While we were watching, we heard an owl hooting and several birds making various bird noises. It's just a lovely place to spend an hour or two on a winter afternoon.

Slowly But Surely

I've been making a bit of progress on my advent project. The 7th ornament in The Cookie Snob's plan was a trumpet and it was very cute, I just didn't feel like doing it though so I went with the candy cane from the Yarnspirations calendar.

Rudolph went pretty straightforward although I played with the antlers on one. The wreath was weird because it was too big, so I took out a lot of stitches. Then I decided I didn't want to spend the time to size the bow appropriately so I just made a long chain and wove it through the spaces. The Christmas orange is so tiny, like more of a cutie orange.

I skipped a camel which I plan to replace with a different ornament and went on to the cardinal. It's so tiny and cute although one has a wonky beak. I'm enjoying making these tiny things. Only 9 days "behind" LOL.

Curious Taryn

On This Day 2009

Taryn is in my room, she opened a window and she's shouting at the top of her lungs "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!" to whomever is out there.

When she woke up this morning she ran into our room yelling about the snow but then she put on a church dress and I told her she can't go outside unless she changes clothes and so she's been saying she doesn't want to go out anyway. 

at the front door later that morning

On This Day 2012 7am

Do cats grow mustaches?

On This Day 2012 5pm

Do chickens pee?

Ten minutes later....

Don't make Caelie go in the bathroom with you.

I can't go by myself, I can't stop thinking about giant knives trying to cut me in half!

I wonder if this is a result of having her father explain how chickens get from the farm to our kitchen or from the fact he tried to cut one of his fingers off while cooking...

November 2012

Snow

On This Day 2014: sent the girls outside to play in the snow without me. Moving back to Kansas was a relief for all of us. Between the girls getting older and the area just feeling safer, we all got a little more freedom. So this was a new experience for us all. Probably not the first one, but it was pretty outside so I took some pictures. And the cats got to have a little taste of freedom too. They had had a short-lived Maryland summer of sneaking out a screen window that I didn't know was broken but are strictly indoor kitties as much as possible.

Gift Wrap

One of my more recent challenges has been to give up wrapping paper in favor of reusable options. My purpose is mostly to save money. Wrapping paper is pretty silly, you barely get it on a present before it's ripped off and thrown in the trash. What a weird way to spend money. I have so many scraps of fabric of various sizes and I keep thinking I could even make some patchwork bags if I was extra productive.

 

I used a tutorial from a blog called In Color Order. Then I branched off and made up different sizes of bags. I first made gift bags in April. 

Tonight I made some more Christmasy ones for the girls' gift exchanges this week. I used an old pair of pj pants, and left out some of the fussy parts of the In Color Order pattern. But the picture I took isn't any good so I'm not going to put it here.

Here are some more of the Advent Tree ornaments I've finished yesterday and today. I skipped a tree shaped ornament from the Cookie Snob's plan and replaced it with the hot cocoa mugs from a Yarnspirations Advent Calendar. It just seemed silly to make a tree to hang on a tree. And I made up a different angel by combining some parts from several patterns. 

Light Bulb

Cookie Snob's Angel

Ponderings of Taryn

On This Day, 2012

"Daddy, does Facebook always know the right things?"

"Are we really in a story? Every day, I think we're in a really really really long movie."

Also on this day, Taryn was Frosty the Snowperson in a Christmas play where most of the characters were meant to be Christmas ornaments and other decorations. We didn't start practicing in time for anyone to learn their lines, so we had some large boxes at the edge of the stage that we decorated as Christmas gifts. These boxes hid TV screens where we played a slideshow of the full script so the kids could just read their lines.

She really did a good job.

The New V-Land Scarf

So I today I got pictures of my newly (finally) finished scarf. It's called the New V-Land Scarf because it's V-shaped and the designer Patrina Hollis is from New Zealand. The pattern was released for free in the CAL - Crochet A Long group. I used Lion Brand Mandala Baby yarn in Magic Moon. I added 62 stitches because it was shorter than I like and I used a chainless foundation because I like the look better than chaining a lot and crocheting into the chain.

Feeling Productive

So today I managed to finish up a couple projects that I've had just sitting around waiting for me. One was a water bottle sling that I made in May, but I needed to confirm that the strap was long enough before I finished.

I finally added the tassel to the scarf I've been working on, I'll try to remember to take a decent picture tomorrow. The other project I've had hanging over my head is a crocheted Advent calendar. I'm mostly using a post from The Cookie Snob, which starts with a tree from River Weaving. I've finished two trees (one for each girl) except I haven't made a way to hang the trees on the wall nor to hang the ornaments on the tree. Last night I finished the first couple ornaments and today a couple more. So now I'm only ten days behind, lol.

Star & Santa

Snowman

Baby Taryn

Here's a post from my first blog, which was called Not Very Interesting published December 12, 2006. I will say that past-Cheri expressed herself in ways that present-Cheri wouldn't, but I forgive her, she was so young and she doesn't know what I know. So I'm not going to edit her.

In the last three days we have attended two Christmas parties. One was labeled "Congregation Christmas Party" but that apparently means "everybody but the kids." Of course, Taryn is young enough that no one minded her presence. Plus she was in her cute Christmas dress and everyone loves that. Then last night was the Ladies' ornament exchange. I don't know why I keep going to that one. Just to hang out I guess. It is "dirty Santa" style. You know, where one person opens a present and then the next person can either steal the first present or open a new one. It is usually a lot of fun, but no one ever opens anything I like before my turn and then no one ever steals my ornament. So I end up going home with something that is really not my taste at all. This year, I got this creepy Santa head. It is ceramic with some sheep pelt attached for the hair and beard. It is too big (it's about the length and width of a phone book) and it's just creepy. I don't know what I'm going to do with it.

Not creepy baby head

so creepy

She's got the pose and she can rock back and forth but so far if she tries to actually crawl she just face-plants. But it doesn't seem to bother her, the face-planting part. But when she gets tired she gets the post and then wants to go and gets mad at me because she can't. Because it's all my fault.

She only army crawls, but apparently she can conquer the obstacle course.

So last night Taryn didn't sleep well at all on account of not being able to breathe through her nose very well. Which means I slept even less. She's also having the worst teething symptoms she's had so far and this morning took the opportunity to experience her first head-dive off a piece of furniture (my bed). And the cat is in heat. And my sinuses hurt and that makes my throat hurt. Strangely enough, Tim, who has no immune system, is not sick. 

It must be winter in the Viles household today.

Silly Caelie

On This Day 2012:

Caelie just informed me that when she grows up she's going to change her name to Cher and "live in Chinese".

2019 update: I read the post to her and she face palmed and said "I probably won't do that." She's a character.

Here's a picture of a gingerbread house she made at a friend of Taryn's house. She used tootsie roll wrappers in a unique way. I think she was trying to use them as shingles for the roof, but she just dropped icing and put a wrapper on top and then kept stacking like that. In retrospect, I'm certain her primary goal was to get as much candy as possible onto this structure. There's a good chance she peeled back each layer of wrapper and ate the dried icing in there. She's always been our little sugar fiend.

The gingerbread house building wasn't strictly ON this day, but since I'm at it, here's Taryn's house as well. She was more interested in the structure and in eating all the candy while playing with her friends. I didn't get the picture taken before she'd already eaten parts of it.

Not Crafty

So this is the kind of time where I can tell how I'm doing by looking at my projects and seeing how much I'm getting done. I had hoped to post a picture of this scarf I'm trying to finish. I put the fringe on the other side of it today. And I went into a store to look for embellishments to put on the center tassel. But I didn't find what I wanted so it's not done.

And typically I'd grab any number of other projects laying around and just do some work on one of those instead. But I didn't.

When finishing a crochet project feels like pulling teeth....that's when I know I'm having a really rough time.

I'm not good at recognizing my emotions, so I'm always looking around trying to observe what I'm doing and match it up to the appropriate label. It's a little clunky, but it works sometimes.

This time last year I finished up a project that was a lap blanket for a friend who had had knee surgery. He is a fan of Allis-Chalmers orange tractors. I just looked back at the photos and I'm not super proud of my photography work but I am really very proud of the finished blanket. I started with a generic green tractor and modified the pattern so much that I think I can really claim to have designed it.

I don't really know anything about tractors, but I'm pretty proud of it.

The Sleep Side

So I got a good hours of sleep, woke up, started my morning routine....and then took a nap... I love naps, but they do have a way of messing up my sleep schedule. And now that I'm typing this I just realized a part of my routine that I may have skipped. Oops.

Before my nap, I was trying to think of one small thing I could do to change my life today. A tiny thing. And I decided that thing would be as many loads of laundry as I could do. Turns out I could guide the children to do two loads of laundry and then I threw a load into the washer. Maybe I'll finish that, maybe I won't, it's just like a choose your own adventure.

Something about that small productivity motivated me to do the dishes. I'm not a randomly motivated to do the dishes kind of person. But there I was. In the kitchen. Washing dishes. Well. Half the dishes. Still counts.

I put half the fringe on a scarf I'm trying to finish.

This has been a hard week. But it does seem like I took a couple small steps forward today. Now if I can get another good night's sleep it will really seem like I'm on my way.

And Again

So I went out of town for the first time in months. We had a very pleasant holiday with my sister's family. Plus exciting haircuts. But my phone is slowly dying and I can't do all the things on it, like write and publish blog posts. And I got back in town just in time to have all the drama hit me at the same time.

When I say all the drama. I mean all the drama.

I mean, some of it is funny drama or easily solved drama. But other parts of it are ridiculous.

Some of the heavier parts, when added to accidental caffeine ingestion, have resulted in what is currently 39 hours in a row of not sleeping. So that's exciting. I mean I sort of blinked a little too long a few times at church this morning. I snored at least once.

I've got a couple yarn projects pretty close to finished. Maybe someday I'll get into the zone and get a bunch of stuff done.

Right now I'm just trying to figure out how to get some sleep.

Fiber

I recently completed another Warm Fuzzy project, but I gave it to the intended recipient before taking a picture. This one was dark purple and I made it some pink bunny pajamas. The recipient is a fan of A Christmas Story. I'm sad about not having a picture because the ears were so perfectly adorable.

Another area I've been leaning into recognizing my talents in is art. I've been practicing calling myself a fiber artist. This summer when I was writing my whole life story I had a sentence that started "If I were an artist". I had to change it because what I meant was "if I were better at drawing". I wanted to be more respectful to myself. It's weird to say that.

I've been practicing fiber art for a long time. In childhood, I was taught to sew and many of my early projects were costumes for re-enacting the middle ages. Around middle school, I learned to do counted cross-stitch. I've made a countless number of little cross-stitched Christmas ornaments as gifts for my friends. I never took pictures of those as I didn't have a camera or the idea to record my work.

In college, I learned to crochet. I believe my first project was a black scarf that is about 10 - 12 feet long and entirely single crochet. Except maybe some parts where I forgot what I was doing and slip stitched. I think I also tried to figure out how to knit and I was unable to do so at that time. That was probably around 2001. That's 18 years of crochet.

Over the years I've learned all kinds of new skills. Usually I learn new sewing skills when I need something and have limited resources. Like the year Taryn had a big growth spurt right when it was getting cold and I didn't have any way to get her anything new. I went to the Airman's Attic (like a thrift store but free) and pretended I was looking at fabric rather than the overwhelming piles and piles of wrong sized clothes. I turned adult long sleeve Ts into leggings and too-large shirts into right-sized shirts. Button down shirts into dresses. It was kind of fun actually.

Yes, I'm a fiber artist. I take materials and apply my skills and creativity to form new things. When I ask Google to tell me the definition of art, it wants to argue with me. But I prefer the idea that every human is an artist and we all need to tap into our creativity and be encouraged to express it.

Bloggin

I guess I spend a lot of my life not being very confident about my talents and abilities. But for some reason, I really really know that I'm a good writer. I think that's why I'm so drawn to the idea of blogging. I just want to write. Some problems include, one day having many ideas of things to write and other days having zero ideas.

also stuff like this

I also get caught up in weird perfectionist problems. Like there's somehow a perfect way to do a blog and so if I don't do that, then why am I doing this at all? Perfectionism is something I'm fighting all day every day. I'm trying to get away from the all or nothing style of thinking.

Sometimes I think I need to come up with a more focused topic for this blog. I feel like I'm all over the place and there's no common thread to what I'm writing. But really, my audience is me, and I think I've done an excellent job so far of appealing to my audience.

I was trying to take a picture of my hair for some reason

So I guess I'm winning? I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing and see what happens.

10 Year Challenge

So apparently the thing right now is to compare photos of yourself from 2009 and 2019. There aren't a lot of photos of me from that time frame because the girls were one and three and I was busy. I did sporadically blog through that year, so I can see how I got more involved and began building community around myself there at Joint Base Andrews. I joined MOPS and went on all kinds of field trips. I have lots of pictures of the girls in random places people introduced us to.

I feel like 2019 has been pretty similar. I had made some changes to my social circle and this year I've really felt like I've benefited from the new community I've been building. And I joined MOPS again. LOL. I've taken fewer pictures this year I think, but I might actually be in more pictures than I was in 2009.

I really feel like there is a lot going on that I want to write down, if for no other reason than to read it later and have fond memories of my life right now. But I don't even know where to begin. I did see a picture on the internet that really sums things up though:

Painting Party

So this is how we do. Jenny messaged me something like "I'm in town, want to do something?" And I'm like "I could get dressed." It's suppertime. Friday is my Saturday. Anyway. We drive out of my parking lot some minutes later and drive south down the road that just finally re-opened after months and months of construction. We haven't decided what we're doing yet.

We get to Aggieville and it turns out the painting studio was lit up and looked like they were ready for some kind of painting party. So we invite ourselves. Luckily it was a public event. This business has just changed hands, the new owners already had a painting business but in a less noticeable part of town.

So we painted. The guy was very encouraging and validating. If I had all the money I'd pay him to tell me nice things every time I want to paint.

Rules